4/7/2020 11:43:20 AM

Now - I do like this one.

4/7/2020 11:40:19 AM

--- YUP ---

4/7/2020 5:23:46 AM

One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming "Oh my god, help me, there`s a bee in my vagina!" The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit." The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife`s vagina. The doctor said "OK, what I`m gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my ***** and insert it into your wife`s vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my ***** I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my ***** out of your wife`s vagina. The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes, Yes, whatever, just get on with it." So the doctor, after covering the tip of his ***** with honey, inserted it into the young lady`s vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don`t think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper." So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement. She began to moan and groan aloud. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself, he then put his hands on the young lady`s breasts and started making loud noises. The husband at this point suddenly became very annoyed and shouted, "Now wait a minute! What the Hell do you think you`re doing?" The doctor, still concentrating, replied, "Change of plan. I`m gonna drown the bastard!"

4/7/2020 5:09:17 AM

A dick has a sad life. His hair`s a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor`s an azzhole, his bestfriend`s a puzzy, and his owner beats him

4/6/2020 1:46:56 PM

LOL

4/6/2020 12:44:45 PM

That`s good Randy......

4/6/2020 7:47:41 AM

A construction worker on the third floor of a building needs a handsaw. He sees one of the laborers on the first floor and yells down to him, but the man indicates that he can`t hear. So, the guy on the third floor tries to use signs. He points to his eye, meaning, "I," then at his knee, meaning, "need," and he moves his hand back and forth, meaning, "handsaw." The man on the first floor nods, then drops his pants and begins to jack-off. The man on the third floor freaks out and runs down to the first floor yelling, ``What the hell is wrong with you!? Are you stupid or something? I was saying that I needed a handsaw!`` The laborer looks at the carpenter and says, ``I knew that. I was just trying to tell you that I was coming.``

4/3/2020 6:05:38 AM

I guess that clerk was clueless like I was. I only been in a strip club one time in my life, and no cowboy hats to be seen anywhere.? Lol

4/2/2020 10:35:07 AM

Maybe you have never been to a strip club where sometimes a gal with big jugs will cram both of them into a ten gallon cowboy hat. Then she lets go and the hat just hangs there.

This guy is demonstrating with his cap size, that his wifes jug (one of them) would take up his cap/hat size.

That leaves it to the clerk to translate that back into cup size to match.

4/2/2020 10:21:12 AM

Moscooter, I really didn`t get that. But here is one that you and everyone can understand.....


It was the mailman`s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood.

When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee.

She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.

When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast, eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh squeezed orange juice.

When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup`s bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what`s the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."

He said, "phuck him, give him a dollar."

The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

4/2/2020 10:12:15 AM

I am not hospitalized or down with anything, I am just not near a computer most days. I get on here when I come by the house.

4/2/2020 10:10:25 AM

One word only why is that so Hard?????

*****

4/1/2020 8:48:45 PM

I guess it`s just our fingers don`t work so good any more.

3/31/2020 3:26:17 PM

Yeah, I know we do not post on a regular basis here and days can go by without anyone responding. But.............HEY.......No one has much of anywhere to go and it would seem to me that keeping up with friends would be helpful to maintain some sanity.

I`ve input a couple of posts here days ago..................keep checking and it seems y`all must be hospitalized and down with the bad virus.

3/30/2020 12:22:08 PM

A Texan walked into Macy`s in NYC and went into the Ladies section.
" I need a Bra for my wife."
The lady there said, "What size?"
"38 around and 7 & 3/4"
"What? No A,B,C,D,DD?"
"7 & 3/4"
"Sir that is NOT a size for a woman`s Bra!"
" It sure is! Look"
He took his hat off and showed her 7 & 3/4!