June 14, 2003

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit.~Author Unknown

I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come upsliced. ~Author Unknown

I've spent most of my life golfing. The rest I've wasted. ~Author Unknown

They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken.~Raymond Floyd

My handicap? Woods and irons. ~Chris Codiroli

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody would put a flag stick on top. ~Pete Dye

I'm hitting the woods just great .... but having a terrible time getting out of them! ~Author Unknown

I know I am getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators.~Gerald Ford

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. ~Hank Aaron

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five.~Paul Harvey

The game of golf would gain more players if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. ~Ernest Hemingway

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. ~Jack Benny

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. ~Billy Graham

Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing. ~Ben Hogan

Go play golf. Go to the golf course. Hit the ball. Find the ball. Repeat until the ball is in the hole. Have fun. The end. ~Chuck Hogan

If you think it's hard to meet new! people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~Jack Lemmon

I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play. ~Joe E. Lewis

t's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. ~Mark Twain

Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. ~Harry Vardon

A golfer's diet: Live on greens as much as possible.~Author Unknown

Gone golfing ... be back about dark thirty. ~Author Unknown

Born to golf. Forced to work. ~Author Unknown

My body is here, but my mind has already teed off.~Author Unknown

Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them. ~Jimmy DeMaret

May thy ball lie in green pastures .... and not in still waters. ~Author Unknown

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. ~George Deukmejian

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe. ~Author Unknown