August 6, 2003

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and
values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married,
did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure. What was her maiden name?"
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A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my
intelligence come from?" The father replied: "Well, son, you must have
gotten it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine."
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"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce
court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $775 a week."
"That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and
then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
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A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a
double scotch on the rocks. After he finished the drink , he peeked
inside his shirt pocket, then he ordered another double scotch. After he
finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket and ordered
another double scotch. Finally, the bartender said, "Look, buddy, I'll
bring you drinks all night long. But you gotta tell me why you look
inside your shirt pocket before you order another." The customer
replied, "I'm looking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look
good, then I know it's time to go home."
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A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't
like the looks of your wife at all." "Me neither, doc," said the
husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."
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An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you
will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on
you." The old man answers without hesitation: "I now pronounce you man
and wife."