May 1, 2011

An old sea captain with one wooden leg, one hook replacing a missing
hand, and one
missing eye goes into a bar.
The sailor sitting next to him says, "You`re really in bad shape. What
happened to your
leg?"
"I fell overboard," says the Captain, "and before my mates could pull
me aboard, a shark
bit it off."
"Terrible," says the sailor. "And what happened to your hand?"
"We attacked a man-o`-war," says the Captain, "and one of the
attackees chopped it off
with a saber."
"Awful," says the sailor. "And how did you lose your eye?"
"Seagull droppings," says the Captain.
"Amazing," says the sailor. "I didn`t know seagull droppings could put
your eye out."
"Can`t," says the Captain. "But it was my first day with the hook."